Couples Therapy

I am passionate about the very unique form of relationship that intimacy with another human offers. Although intimacy can happen in other relationships in the form of deep love, communication, care, etc; partnership knocks the door of our deepest truths, and exposes our deepest wounding, fears and insecurities. It challenges our ability to open up, surrender, and be ourselves. We are called to trust, love, share, and remain differentiated, all at the same time! Pretty challenging, huh? Being in a relationship is about balancing our need for connection and freedom while holding values of fairness, sensitivity, mutuality. In some way we are pushed to grow and expand in ways that are unknown in friendship and other forms of human connection. We want to be seen, understood, felt and known by our beloved; which requires healthy self-esteem and boundaries. Despite our best intentions we default into relational patterns that create resentment, tendency to withdraw, shut down or react to our beloved in ways that we regret and often can’t control. In couples therapy we explore the patterns that interfere with what Stan Tatkin calls secure functioning, which means in a nutshell our ability to agree and abide by principles within our partnership that ensure the ‘survival’ of the relationship. My goal as a couple’s therapist is to move so to speak the couple towards secure functioning, and also help you work through the resistance, fear and challenges that come with being in partnership.