Healing Attachment

What is attachment? In a nutshell it is the style we have to bond with others. Attachment disorders lead to experiencing consistent difficulty in our relationships with others. Think of your relationships. Do you notice a relational-pattern? Do you tend to merge with others in relationships? Or do you tend to keep your distance and have a hard time opening up, and sharing your feelings? Is it hard to accept help from others? & Are you comfortable reaching out for support? Or do tend to handle things on your own because you think you don't need anyone. Do you feel some has your back? Can you truly allow yourself to be seen, and held? Do you feel your relationships are meaningful and fulfilling? Do you feel 'known' and 'felt/seen' by others? When in distress, do you need others to feel better? Or do you need to be alone to feel better.

 

This is the territory of attachment. The work consists of exploring these patterns and understanding how they formed but also identifying what patterns of relating with others are no longer serving you or getting in the way of having more intimacy, love and connection in your relationships. The overall goal is working toward developing a secure attachment, which involves effective resolution of conflict, clear communication, healthy boundaries, allowing others to see you, feel you, support you, etc. When we feel we have permission to feel, to be ourselves, to make mistakes, to grow, to change, we know we are in a healthy relationship. In secure relationships we feel someone has our back, and we are good enough as we are. 

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